Every once in awhile I catch sight of one of those girls. The one that has “juicy” plastered all over her behind. And then I begin to wonder several things: “Who wants their back end to be described as juicy” “Who would spend the money on such a thing” and lastly, if their underage, “Who would let their child wear such garbage”. Now, there are several arguments to be had, but for the sake of my time and yours, I am going to give you my opinion and to save you time and energy, my opinion will not be changed. Just ask my husband- I’m the most ornery person he knows. When I look at this, especially on a young girl, I think we as parents are selling this child short on the full potential God has for her. By allowing her to flaunt her body off, we are telling her that her body is hers to flaunt, which isn’t true. We are also teaching her that she should bring attention to a part of her body that is not intended to be for anyone else but her future husband. We are also teaching her that the attention she receives is the kind she should look for, leading her to potentially date someone who has no respect for her body or the true treasure she really is. In this day and time, sex sells. Even in something as small as a pair of skin tight pants that are labeled with“sexy”, “cutie” or really anything else.
As a parent, I am making a stand now to not allow Emma to wear such clothing. She has a cute pair of pants I got her back at Christmas time that have something written on the bottom. I have felt very convicted that this is not the kind of clothing I want my daughter wearing, especially out of the house. I allow her to wear them as sleep pants instead and at this time, I don’t plan on buying her any others. Now the question is, how much does this REALLY affect her now? The truth is, it may not affect her at all, especially not now, however, as a mother, I don’t want to begin a habit I don’t intend to allow her to keep. But it doesn’t stop here. It’s not enough to remove these items but to help her set morals and follow them. If I remove clothing with phrases written on the bottom but don’t teach her anything else, I have still failed her as a parent. Here are some things we plan on doing with Emma and my prayer is that it will help you as parents and that you can also help me along the way:
*Dress like the job you want- this applies to so many things in life. Basically, the way you dress sets a lot of your standards. For example, if you’re constantly showing a lot of cleavage, you’re probably not going to attract a guy who is after your heart. Now this isn’t to say that you have to spend large amounts of money to get the guy you want, it’s just saying that you need to be conscience of how your look. As the old saying goes, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
*Dress in a way that you will look back and be proud- this is so very true. When you’re done sewing all your wild oats, settle down, and have a family, do you want to be able to look back at pictures or have to hide them from your children? I want Emma to not be ashamed of herself, but rather, be proud of how she carried herself and there will be times that J.R. and I have to do this for her.
*Break the mold- sometimes it’s going to be harder than easier to promote modesty with your child, especially as they get older. When everyone else gets to wear juicy pants and low cut shirts, and your child cannot, you’re going to get a lot of questions. And a lot of push back. But stay strong! I’m so glad my momma stayed strong with me and my ornery attitude. I can look back at myself and notice that she raised me in a way in which I am proud of how I looked. Also, I think it’s important here that dad is on board with you. If dad is not on board, you will have a constant battle in your house. All your child needs to do is go to dad and ask and the problem is resolved. My dad always took interest in how I dressed and would tell me (in a loving way of course) when he felt like what I wore was a stumbling block for others. There may be sometimes us moms don’t see what dad can so we need to be sure to include him in this journey towards modesty.
*Be willing to be flexible- There will be times when your child wants to wear something and you HATE it. It will be easy to put this is the modesty category and make it a “no-no” outfit but I recommend taking a step back before doing this. You don’t want to pull the modesty trump card so much that your child can’t stand you. For example, let’s say your child wants to wear all black. Is this wrong? Maybe if they’re joining a cult but if they’re simply being a teenager trying to express themselves, be willing to bend the rules. There’s not necessarily a right or wrong here- you have to make the decision as a parent but try to be flexible with the things that aren’t non-negotiable.
*Push the baby out of the nest- At some point, it’s up to our children to do the right thing. At some point, they are old enough to dress themselves. They are old enough to buy their own clothes (possibly with your money still). Does this mean there won’t come a time when you have to return something? You may still have to do this but how will your child ever learn if you don’t give them the opportunity? Be willing to push your baby out of the nest so they can learn how to fly, otherwise they’ll be stuck in the nest forever. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my baby in the nest forever. Amen.
What are you doing to teach your child modesty? Be sure to take a moment to read what Stacy wrote about Modesty at an Early Age.