Romans 8:28 “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
I have been struggling for weeks with saying, “goodbye”. I have always hated saying “goodbye” to anyone. When I was little, the first time I spent the night with a friend was a disaster. Mom and dad got a call around 2-3am to come pick me up. The best part? The house was just across the street. As I grew, I did better staying away but never got comfortable doing so. It’s never been my strong point to be away from my family. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind going away WITH my family. It’s not so much the HOUSE that I miss, it’s the people in it.
This trip will be a little different. Not only am I leaving my family but also my baby. Anytime I have left Emma up until now I have had JR with me. It softens the blow to have him. He’s my best friend so I enjoy the time I have away with him even if I miss Emma. This time JR and Emma are staying behind and I’m not going a few hours away, I’m going several thousand miles away. I will be in Normandy, France .
When we first realized JR wasn’t going to be able to go this time, I didn’t want to go. Let’s be honest and tell it like it is- I don’t like to be away from home and definitely not that far away. As soon as the thought came to me to stay the next thought came that said, “I called you to go” and I knew it was God. He hadn’t told me to go if I was comfortable with it. He hadn’t told me to only go if JR went. He told me to go regardless. It’s hard to listen sometimes when it’s not how we envisioned it. And I’m ornery as can be. Luckily, God’s a little tougher than me.
I admit that it has taken several weeks to come to terms with this and be at peace about it. Leaving my family is not an easy thing to do but as it gets closer, I’m really excited about what God is going to do in my life, my family’s life, and those we are going to reach. I know there’s a reason I’m going and JR is staying. I know there is a reason for everything God does and He is ultimately in control of it all. I just have to sit back, trust and believe in Him to do everything He has always said He will. After all, he’s God, right?
I heard a story once about a pastor who felt God calling him to give away all the cash in his pocket so he did. When he looked down, it was $5. When he gave it to the woman she cried and told him she knew God told her to go to church but she didn’t have money for gas home. The drive back would cost exactly $5. A few years later, he felt the same tug in his heart to give what he had in his pocket to someone. When he pulled it out and saw it was $100, he put it back. It was such a huge amount to give away that he wasn’t ready to commit to it. He came to terms very quickly with the fact that he trusted God with $5 but not $100. The question comes down to this: do I serve a $5 God or one that can cover infinitely more than I could ever imagine? I sure hope at the end of the day I don’t put a price tag on who my God can be and allow Him to move me and mold me in whatever way He sees fit in my life.
Please continue to cover me, my family, our team, the team in France, and the people there in your prayers. We know and believe God is going to do great things for the community there and those in need. I look forward to behind back with you all next week. This upcoming week I’ll be doing a special on childbirth and I look forward to sharing it with you!